National Adoption Month – Delivering Hope Book Review

Delivering Hope by Jennifer Ann Holt

I thought overall, Delivering Hope was a great book to show all sides of adoption and to express the depth of feelings that each person is feeling. It was inspiring to read about the birth mother who wasn’t just a stereotypical story. I felt her emotions to be realistic and the situation dealt with appropriately.

As someone who has suffered through infertility myself, I felt a bit torn about my feelings on Olivia (adopted mom) section. I felt that her feelings were a bit stereotypical For the average person reading this book, that is fine, but as someone who has been there, lived that, it was hard. I wasn’t emotional rather logical about the whole infertility issue. I was frustrated because I couldn’t find out WHY my body wasn’t doing was it was supposed to. What every other person could do without effort. I was not bawling at church when babies cried, or yelling at friends for being pregnant. I was thrilled for them, and jealous of the ease that it came to them, but it wasn’t heartbreaking for me. Things were working as they were supposed to.

In terms of adoption, I have always had a very open mind about it. As a child I always thought it would be an option to adopt a child. I remember asking my best friend in college (who was adopted along with her 3 other siblings) if she would ever adopt a child. I was shocked when she responded “I wouldn’t want to take a baby from another mother who was unable to physically have one herself”. I had never thought if it that way. So while I was very open to adoption, and had zero doubts as to whether I would feel any differently towards that child than I would a biological child, my husband and I agreed that if it came to IVF or adoption, we would spend the money and do IVF because that literally is not an option to a lot of women.

While trying to conceive I was always told that I would miss out on the bonding experience by not being pregnant myself. While pregnant, I kept waiting for this magic moment to happen. I will be honest, I didn’t really feel a very strong connection to my child until I was home, my husband was back at work, and it was just the two of us. His life depended on me. He was my sole responsibility. I then learned that it is not giving birth to a child that makes you a parent, but the raising and caring for a child that bonds you for life.