Is it about modesty?
I grew up in an area with a lot of Eastern Indian families. Seeing a man in a turban or a woman in a burqa, hijab, headscarf, etc. was a normal thing in our neighborhood. I had no issues with this at all. Regardless of religious affiliation, I have always felt it demeaning to require women to be covered, and not men. I think the modesty issue, whether cultural or religious in nature, should be equal in terms of the sexes.
Is it Classy?
Fast forward 15 years. I am home with a three year old and preemie twins. Its January, nobody is going anywhere any time soon. I have a volunteer group offer to come in and watch the babies so I can take Jett out for some one on one time. Its a miracle. Then, I am offered a subsidized child care / home help person. I am too proud to do that, I already have once a week help. My home health nurse (a long story for another day, but lets just say she was there WAAAAAAAY to much) insisted I call this group to get some help around the house, and since I am not working, it would be free or dirt cheap. Lady comes, takes our household income, so its not really cheap, but the lady will watch the kids and I can get some things done, or come to appointments, or whatever I need her to do.
The girl shows up at the door. She is 18, just graduated from high school. She is nice, plays with my kid, helps me clean and do laundry. She comes back 2 weeks later. My husband sometimes works from home, and happened to be there that morning. In walks young chick wearing a very low cut, spaghetti strap tank top and skin tight yoga shorts. I am finding it distracting (while I sit there in my sweats, hoping for the time to take a shower that day). My husband comes out of the office and is chatty with The Girl.
Now, I am not worried or blaming my husband for anything, I just felt uncomfortable. I look like garbage, I am the naggy wife who asks for the man to do all the man chores around the house, and in walks half naked barbie, who is happy and excited to help and laugh at his jokes. There is no way I am letting that girl hang out at my house with my husband home.
This summer, neighbor girl is jumping on the tramp, right next to my fence, in her bikini. We are sitting at the table eating dinner, and I think to myself, I wish the entire world’s population covered up. I shocked myself with those thoughts.
Your Making Us Look Bad
As a mom, without a nanny or personal stylist, I just can’t look 100% all day every day. Yes, I do dress up, and love my chances to do so, but I also love that from 8-11 every morning I can wear my yoga pants while I feed my kid his cheerios and babies their rice cereal. While I think a burqa in actuality might be a bit extreme, the thoughts on modest clothing are definitely appreciated. Trashy is not classy. If that offends you, lets make a deal. I will try to up my game in terms of the yoga pants, if you wear an actual shirt. Deal?
Do you think I am over reacting? How do you feel about the professionalism of peoples dress in the home?
I think there’s a balance where you can dress nice and not be completely covered up, but also be modest. I’m a more modest person lol…but then I see some girls (young AND older), who have no problem exposing anything and everything. It can definitely be distracting and actually, my husband will say he sees women dressed skimpy, “That’s just not attractive or appealing at all”. (yes, my hubby is wonderful! lol). Everyone is definitely entitled to their own way of dress, but I think especially some of these younger girls need to be a little more cautious in what they’re promoting (whether intentional or not)…especially with all the wild stories you hear in the news now a days because there’s some real creeps out there!
Lack of modesty is one of the many reasons I am thankful I have 3 boys. I am by no means completely covered, but the clothes (or lack there of) of others makes me embarrassed. Honestly though I think women should leave somethings to the imagination rather than putting it all out there.
I don’t think you’re overreacting at all. I wish everyone covered up more too.
Nothing wrong with yoga pants….which you reminded me…I spent a lot of money on mine….I’m going to get them out!!
I think you are not overreacting at all. I think if she is working for you, you should be able to set the tone for what is appropriate and what is not in the terms of her clothing.
p.s. LOVE Yoga pants!
I think there is a fine line between being alluring and not. So often it is not.
I often struggle with seeing all these young girls walking around half naked, and even some older ones. Modesty is something I have a big issue with. If they really understood what it does to their own self opinion and the opinion others have of them, and how it affects men, maybe they would reconsider what they would put on that morning?
LOL at “Did she forget her pants?” I can’t even count how many times I’ve said that!!
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Having been to Stampede 5 times nothing shocks me any more!! Honestly said to my husband once “Did she forget her pants?”. There is a place and time for everything…. 😉
I don’t agree with the wearing of a Burqa, I think it is demeaning, as for the young lady who came to assist you in the house, she should have dressed appropriately for the job. I don’t think yoga pants are the clothing to wear anywhere, except maybe an actual yoga class. Now the girl in the backyard, is in her space, so her clothing or lack or is fine. Sure I would have had the same thoughts as you, but you could have changed to something more appealing too, if that would make you feel more secure with your husband. I don’t think it was her actual clothing that bothered you but maybe your own insecurities.
Its not really my insecurities, but more so wishing that women would step it up in regards to respectful dressing. Like you said, there is a time and a place.
Hi Brook,
I am with you here, as in I can see your points for sure! As a mother of 3 girls, I can only hope the current trend (whereby legs, ass cheeks and cleavage are all on show) has a complete turnaround by the time the teen years strike. Hoping to see a return of the tucked in sweater actually- like Tiffany & Debbie Gibson used to wear!